I miss my best friend more than anything. He’s still the person I want to tell when exciting things happen and talk to all the time. But I can’t because somewhere along the line he stopped caring about the promise he made and the fact that he told me I was his best friend. He doesn’t really deserve to be missed, but I miss him because I’m weak like that. He’s my “mind-banger.” Time needs to heal faster.
It’s not that I define my self worth by what others think, but when the only two people you’ve ever let completely in choose to leave you over and over again, it does start to make you wonder if there’s something wrong with you. I feel like I have all these wonderful people in my life that I just can’t let in and I want to fix that. I want to feel emotionally close to anybody at this point, but life doesn’t work like that. You have to be so careful with who you let in because most don’t care and I don’t think I could take another person walking away after realizing who I really am.